this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
