I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
