i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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