put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
