Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
