can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
