i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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