Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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