so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize