He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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