so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
