I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
