would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
