You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
