I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
