what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
