So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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