I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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