Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
