who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
