dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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