How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
