did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
