Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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