So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
