OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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