he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
as a side note pls kill me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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