I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
