Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
