my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize