Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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