I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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