I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
