I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
