there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
