pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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