It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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