porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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