i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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