me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
