I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
