It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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