if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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