he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize