I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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