Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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