Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
