my sisters under your porch take her home
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
