I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
