Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
