when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
