she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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