This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize