I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
