loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize