I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
