This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
