Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
