I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
