Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
